Crying

 Dear reader, 

I want to cry. Not because anything, in particular, is happening. But just because. Just because I want to. I want to flood my bedroom up to the brim with nothing but my tears and sorrow for no particular reason. For no targeted ex-friend, ex-lover, ex-dilemma. But for me and my rage. Why is it that when we are so incredibly hurt and upset we find it annoyingly hard to let it all out and break something. We instead are angry. We blame. We hurt. We do anything in our power except cry. I have found that when I feel a lump in my throat, I am relieved because it feels as if I am forgiven by my self-consciousness and am given permission to be human alone. Swimming in my self-proclaimed and so-called selflessness is the only thing I am willing to do when that lump comes around. So my message to you today is: Don't hold your tears back because a flood of lipid, water, and mucus will surround your heart (non-medically of course). Be sad if you need to, because sometimes therapy isn't always meditation. Don't mistake your need to be upset and cry for a trip to the therapist. Save those green slips for retirement!! 

With much love, 

diarygirl